The Ubiquitous Apostrophe

I was going through the line at McDonalds near my home and I saw a really nice sign advertising for experienced Store Manager's.  This hit below the belt because I've been acquainted with the franchise owner for 35 years.  I know he knows better. This makes me wonder if he "delegated" the responsibility to someone for having the nice (obviously) expensive signs printed.  This also makes me wonder if the copy went to the printer like that or if the person who set up the printing added that apostrophe.

It seems as if I have a new "language" pet peeve every year.  Last year it was liberry and liberrian.  The year before it was "on tomorrow."  This year it is mine's.  That's just wrong on so many levels.  What creeps me out even more is that there are people with masters degrees in ENGLISH that say "Mine's are like that."

What is horrendous is that there are teachers that are MODELING this usage for their students who are not so swuft.  This is equivalent to "ye olde nail on the blackboard."  It grates uncomfortably.  I cannot imagine that ANY person with a college degree in English would say "Mine's are (referring to personal possessive)."

The adding of an "apostrophe s" to plurality is getting so prevalent in the language that it seems as if educated people no longer make the distinction.  I've caught myself doing it a couple of times which makes me want to scratch my eyes out of my head (in the tradition of Oedipus) so that I cannot see the transgression. 

People tell me I'm a grammar Nazi.  This brings to mind Godwin's Law which provides me some amount of amusement.

I understand casual usage and vernacular banter.  I do speak Southern.  I speak some varieties of Hick.  I still learned proper language usage.  I do not claim perfection, but I claim top 2%.  I know my they're from there from their.  I love games like Kingdom of Loathing because one has to pass the Altar of Literacy in order to participate in the chat feature.  One encounters this....

As you approach the Altar of Literacy, you see the faint outline of a human figure standing in front of it.

"Hello," says the figure. "I'm the ghost of the English language."

"At this time, you are not allowed to enter the chat. This feature is reserved for those who are members of the Order of the Literate"

"If you wish to gain access to the chat, you must perform a series of tasks in order to prove that you can be trusted with the privileges and responsibilities of the Order."

 One finds this....

"Next, you must complete the following sentences..."

When they get [there|their|they're], [there|their|they're] going to put on [there|their|they're] mittens.

[Your|You're] nuts if you think I'm going to polish [your|you're] armor for free.

"Finally, you must answer this fiendishly difficult trivia question: What color was George Washington's favorite black horse?"

What is horribly sad is that there is a "cheat" page that exists to pass the Altar of Literacy. 

What I learned from the Master Degree Possessing English Teacher is that there is now a software program that does all of the APA formatting for anything one writes.  What I remember from my time in grad school is that I had to painfully construct all of my citations.  I thought that was part of the territory.  So now there is a 28 year old English teacher with a higher degree who says "Mine's are like that."

Mine's timbers can collapse leading to catastrophic structural failure. My legs are heavier now than they were when I was 14.  Precious metals are often found in mines. 

What do you think?